Having been in seminary nearly three months now, I want to share with you a few oddities with which you ought to be acquainted. Let me begin by saying that this is my first time attending a Christian school. It is my first time living in a dorm. This is my first time turning down Trey Songz because the walls are anorexically thin. Since elementary school I have not had to so often ask those around me what I can and cannot do. They hug more often in North Korea.
To those brave men who wish to enter seminary, allow me a few tips:
1. Perfect the side hug.
2. When a woman grabs an extra Panera sandwich for her husband, do not jokingly say, “I’m going to grab one for my husband too.”
3. Do not fart in the elevator.
4. You will be inexplicably tired from 7–11 AM and from 1–4 PM, every day.
5. Find synonyms for the words community, fellowship, struggle, and intentional.
2. When a woman grabs an extra Panera sandwich for her husband, do not jokingly say, “I’m going to grab one for my husband too.”
3. Do not fart in the elevator.
4. You will be inexplicably tired from 7–11 AM and from 1–4 PM, every day.
5. Find synonyms for the words community, fellowship, struggle, and intentional.
Freud wrote a bit on the narcissism of the small difference. He says, “it is precisely the minor differences in people who are otherwise alike that form the basis of feelings of hostility between them.” There is an invariable tendency for those who have few significant differences to be most at odds with one another: Shia and Sunni, Baptists and Methodists, Easy E and Dr. Dre. I find the same principle in seminary-- we all are seeking the same goal and abide by all seven standards of the school, yet we find the most sinister, silent confrontations to be over tastes in music, off-color humor, or interactions with the opposite sex. Everything is either too-this or not-enough-that.
Perhaps this is hyperbole. Between the incessant conversations on dating and the stacks of books to be read by next week, there are a few gems. One of these is the overwhelming kindness of most seminarians. Another is the plurality of world cultures, or the high regard for the study of Scripture. Whatever it is that causes me to glare slightly narrowly at some things here, there is abundantly more to be grateful.
Perhaps this is hyperbole. Between the incessant conversations on dating and the stacks of books to be read by next week, there are a few gems. One of these is the overwhelming kindness of most seminarians. Another is the plurality of world cultures, or the high regard for the study of Scripture. Whatever it is that causes me to glare slightly narrowly at some things here, there is abundantly more to be grateful.
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