Summers and Students and Sweat and Snacks

I know I haven’t blogged much (ahem, at all) this summer. It’s been a crazy one. Good crazy though. This summer I had the chance to travel a ridiculous amount. Among many travel endeavors I was blessed to go with students to Minnesota, Alabama, and the Dominican Republic.

Now, there is something I knew before, but became ridiculously convinced of this summer-- Students are the game changers in the world. They’ll be the ones causing revivals and leading people to Christ. I believe this for many reasons...

1. Students are hilarious. They are creative. They always have snacks. 

Seriously though, just last Sunday I was sitting in church next to a student that had a full bag of gummy bears in his pocket. On another occasion I had a student walking around the church with an ENTIRE BOX of Oreos in his cargo shorts. Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone always carried around and shared their delicious snacks like this.

2. Students do things other people would never do.

On more than one occasion I’ve been around when a high school guy has decided to poop in a body of water that was not a toilet. One time it was in a lake with others around and to this day that kid still gets called Poop Boy (...I may or may not be the one who calls him that.) The other student pooped in the ocean and took to calling it shark sugar. I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t realize sharks weren't impressed or grateful for that generous treat.

Outside of poop, I’ve seen students do things like stick tampons in their nose to stop nose bleeds. I think we can all thank Amanda Bynes’ character in She’s the Man for that trick.* 

3. Students are resilient.

Once upon a time I was at a summer camp and a student brought fireworks. That same student decided it would be in his best interest to shoot those fireworks out of his butt. It was all great in theory, but in practice... he got a little nervous. Here is the moral of the story-- if you’re going to shoot fireworks out of your ass, don’t clench your cheeks because you will get burn marks. Now, if that wasn’t enough, he did this on the first day or two of camp which meant that he still had to go the rest of the week sitting on the ground, often in the sand, and sharing a room with 15 other guys. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know if I could make it.**

On our trip to the Dominican Republic this summer we were fortunate enough to do some construction for a school in the town we were staying in. On the last day after building walls, weeding, and constructing a swing set we had a fiesta for the local ninos. Mind you, this was after a full day of manual labor. At one point my co-intern looked at a student and said, “Dude, I really have no idea how y’all have the energy to be running around this field with kids on your back right now.” He looked back and said, “We don’t.” But that didn’t stop them. Even when students are completely exhausted they push harder and longer than it seems possible. Then, the next morning they get up and do it all over again. 

I firmly believe that when students catch vision of who God is and what he does in our frail human hearts, their passion to share that news becomes unstoppable. I have been blessed over and over again through living life with students. They are brave, they are sassy, and they think things like "Twerk for Jesus" are a good idea.

*I do feel like I need to say I may have been the one to strongly encourage this event. But the point is that I know very few to no adults who would go along with that idea.

**Or maybe this story has nothing to do with being resilient, but sometimes you just need a story about a student shooting fireworks out of his butt.

Seeing God In The Nostrils

I’ve observed two types of people in seminary-- those who start to grow slightly callous to the ebb and flow of chapel life and prayer requests, and then those who become increasingly amazed with God in the little things... like the fact that we were created with nostrils. 

If I’m being completely honest, I probably fall in line with the first group of people more often than I would like to admit to a lot of my classmates. When reading assignments are full books of the Bible and written assignments are journaling the reading assignments, it gets hard to spend what little free time there is delving into Scripture even more. I realize this is shaping me up to sound horrible, and I’m okay with that, because I struggle with this.

Earlier this semester I had to write a twenty-five page paper as an argument for the book of Hebrews. It was an incredible assignment that completely changed the way I look at Hebrews, but not the way I look at Jesus. And I know, I know-- this is okay. But in a world where everyone is always saying things like “Dang, I am getting so much out of writing these papers each week because they are really showing me so much about our Savior!” it is easy to feel spiritually less-than when sometimes for me it’s just another assignment to mark off the checklist. 

In my life, that isn’t how I see God working and moving and being amazing. For me it’s more things like seeing life change in my high school friends who are finally understanding their infinite worth. It’s those days out in nature when you realize just how intricately God designed the world. It’s seeing selfless people on hard days. These things change the way I look at Jesus and make me thankful for Him all the more. These things are my moments of being amazed by nostrils.

For as thankful as I am for all of the assignments that are showing me the depth of Scripture, I am even more thankful for all of the moments that are showing me more about Jesus.

For those who have been discouraged along the way, especially with only one week left in the semester-- know you’re doing okay. One of the best things I’ve heard since being in seminary was a professor telling the class that when they attended here, it was the most spiritually dry time of their life. So much weight off my shoulders with that one simple sentence. I can only imagine what a different dynamic there would be if more candid conversations were had about this. It is always nice to know you aren’t the only one. Professors aren’t the only ones. I’m not the only one.

Do Not Fart In The Elevator

Guest Post by Brandon Giella

Having been in seminary nearly three months now, I want to share with you a few oddities with which you ought to be acquainted. Let me begin by saying that this is my first time attending a Christian school. It is my first time living in a dorm. This is my first time turning down Trey Songz because the walls are anorexically thin. Since elementary school I have not had to so often ask those around me what I can and cannot do. They hug more often in North Korea.

To those brave men who wish to enter seminary, allow me a few tips:

1. Perfect the side hug.
2. When a woman grabs an extra Panera sandwich for her husband, do not jokingly say, “I’m going to grab one for my husband too.”
3. Do not fart in the elevator.
4. You will be inexplicably tired from 7–11 AM and from 1–4 PM, every day.
5. Find synonyms for the words community, fellowship, struggle, and intentional.

Freud wrote a bit on the narcissism of the small difference. He says, “it is precisely the minor differences in people who are otherwise alike that form the basis of feelings of hostility between them.” There is an invariable tendency for those who have few significant differences to be most at odds with one another: Shia and Sunni, Baptists and Methodists, Easy E and Dr. Dre. I find the same principle in seminary-- we all are seeking the same goal and abide by all seven standards of the school, yet we find the most sinister, silent confrontations to be over tastes in music, off-color humor, or interactions with the opposite sex. Everything is either too-this or not-enough-that.
Perhaps this is hyperbole. Between the incessant conversations on dating and the stacks of books to be read by next week, there are a few gems. One of these is the overwhelming kindness of most seminarians. Another is the plurality of world cultures, or the high regard for the study of Scripture. Whatever it is that causes me to glare slightly narrowly at some things here, there is abundantly more to be grateful.

Trust Me, I'm In Seminary...?

Sorry for the long delay in blogging, y'all! It was mid-terms, and then spring break... and then a week of recovery. All that time of travel and catching up with people led me to identify a trend in my life-- since starting grad school, people seem to think I’m suddenly an expert in all sorts of things. I’ve had a lot of people come up to me and say things like:

“Chelsea, you’re a counseling major-- let me spend 20 minutes telling you about this weird thing my friend did. Do you think you could diagnose them for me?”

--OR--

“Chelsea, you’re in seminary-- what are your thoughts on the theological significance of some minor prophet and what that means for the way I’m going to raise my children?”

...See how under qualified I am for all of this? I mean, I am humbled and flattered by the fact that people seem to think so much of my input but y’all, I’ll let you in on some secrets: 

 1. I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about most of the time. 

 2. I’m usually just making it up as I go.

 3. Until recently I didn’t even know that Obadiah was a real book in the Bible (side note: I still have a hard time finding it).

I am learning so, so much from my time here, but honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a point where I’ll say in a non-ironic way “trust me, I’m in seminary.” Because really, I just don’t think it would be that reassuring of a thing to hear. 

That said, I decided to try and scale where “trust me, I’m in seminary” falls on the level of comfort. It ended up being ranked as more soothing than hearing “trust me, I’m a florist” or “trust me, I wet the bed until I was ten,” but ranked significantly lower than “trust me, I once saved triplets from a burning building” or “trust me, I went to medical school for 8 years.” 

If there is ever an emergency situation, save an exorcism, I don’t know if saying you’re a seminarian will really put anyone’s mind at ease. 

Give it some time though and maybe one day I’ll be able to answer questions and feel pretty secure that I’m not leading you too far astray. But honestly, I don’t know if or when that day will come. So I ask that you bear with me now as I bumble my way through the present.

Not Quite The Virtuous Woman Hoped For

About a week ago my roommate Lauren and I were having a lazy Friday morning. It was around 10:30 when her fiancé, Sam, stopped by to say hello-- Lauren however, was still in her room. Laying in bed. Probably on Pinterest. I wasn’t really being any more productive though-- just drinking coffee and sitting on the couch. Anyways, the point is that Sam knocked on her bedroom door and said a little something like this: 

“Lauren, you’re still in bed? It’s halfway through the morning! What would a Proverbs 31 woman be doing right now???” 

For the record, Sam was joking... I mean, probably. I sat on the couch laughing and drinking my coffee and even though it wasn’t directed towards me, his comment got me thinking all the same. What would the Proverbs 31 woman be doing at 10:30 on a Friday morning? More than that, if I were living up to the standard set by this woman who puts all others to shame, what should I be doing at 10:30 on a Friday morning? I looked up the passage to check-- that should have been the first sign though, the original woman probably would have had it memorized already. I read the verses again and again and here are the notes I took:

Proverbs 31:14 “She is like a merchant’s ship, she brings her food from afar”

I don’t know if she’s being compared to a ship in size, but I have been known to carry a lot of snacks around. Even today I found crumbs in my pocket... and I’m not really sure what they’re from.

Proverbs 31:15 “She’s up before dawn to prepare breakfast”

Yeah... I think we’ve already established that I slept in until at least 10, and coffee was my breakfast.

Proverbs 31:21 “She has no fear of the winter...”

False. I’m from Florida. I love winter, but it scares the hell out of me. The only thing I know to do in the cold is not shave to get an extra layer of warmth. Which is what everyone does... right?

Proverbs 31:24 “She makes belted linen garments and sashes”

I once crocheted my friend a pair of soft, yet ill-fitting, underwear... So I’m pretty sure I’ve got this one covered.

Proverbs 31:26 “When she speaks, her words are wise and kindness is the rule”

...Maybe it would just be best to quit before I’m too far behind since answering this one isn’t going to score me any points.

To be fair, my idea of a household at this point in life is me and one roommate, no pets. Reading this passage as something to aspire to reminds me of the F. Scott Fitzgerald quote-- “It was always the becoming he dreamed of, never the being.” I’m inspired by all the things I know I am not, yet I don’t know if in the process I will ever fully get there. For now, I’ll start with baby steps-- even if I have absolutely no idea what those are. 

I know that even if I’m never the ever esteemed Proverbs 31 woman, God still wired me intentionally, if not a bit spastic and clumsy. 

So Lauren, my dear roommate, I think we’re in the clear. Let our lazy Fridays continue!

When Seminary Doesn't Stop The Doubt

I think when I started seminary I secretly believed it meant my issues would magically resolve on their own. I thought that since I was trusting God enough to uproot everything I knew and loved, I would feel like I had arrived to the place I always belonged and that everything I did would be exceptionally fulfilling. More than that, I think I wanted to believe that in loving God and loving others well, everything in my life would start to make sense. That all of my questions about life, God, and broken people would suddenly be answered.

In complete honesty though-- the longer I'm here, the more I realize just how broken I am. I had deluded myself into believing that seminary would stop doubt from ever seeping in. But I have cracks and leaks and although they start small, without even realizing it, they grow and doubt begins controlling my thoughts more than I'd like to admit. Some pieces to life just never seem to fit right.

You see, no matter how much time I spend with Jesus, the world is still a broken place that's really hard to live in some days. I'm still a sojourner. In my naivety, I thought that seminary was a cure for this but in the last year and a half I've seen a lot of hard, horrible things happen and I've had a lot of moments where I question what God is doing and why certain things in life have to be the way they are. Thoughts, fears, and deep seeded insecurities won't disappear over night. They certainly didn't get left back home when I moved across the country for school, and won't go away until they're addressed now in the present.

I wish I could say that being in seminary has brought me to a place where I don't have doubts anymore. What I'm perpetually rediscovering is that hard things are going to happen no matter what season of life we're in and we won't always (if ever) understand. That's when I need to cling to God the most.

Doubt is real, but so is hope. So I respond by seeking God. Seminary may not have been the missing ingredient in the elixir that I was hoping would bring my life to a perfect place of peace, but life here has definitely helped me realize my desperate need for a Savior all the more. I think Brennan Manning says it best in this quote:

"We presume that trust will ease confusion, dull the pain, redeem the times... Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, 'Into your hands I commend my spirit.'"

With that, I leave you with this song by Noah Gundersen. I am pretty sure I've listened to is 1,000 times over the years and it never ceases to grab me. We're naturally inquisitive beings, and that's okay. Let's live in a world where we can openly admit that we have weaknesses and doubts, knowing that God is bigger and working in the midst of it. Let's journey on together.

When Your Only Valentine is Jesus...

Here is an obvious statement... Valentine's Day is this week. Which for many, means a time of candy hearts and eating your feelings. Personally I've never been a big fan of the holiday. My philosophy is this: I can't even remember to feed or bathe myself, so it's probably for the best that I don't have to celebrate this one.

This is my second Valentine's Day since being in seminary-- a place where young love abounds and sometimes it seems like people go out for coffee once, then decide to get married. Living in the singles apartments tends to make it even more of a dark mark on the calendar for a lot of people around here. In this world people often look at us (alright, maybe just me) like something must be really wrong since we're single. There seems to be a constant flow of justification and pity comments. Around Valentine's Day though, the statements get a little more ridiculous. Here are two of my favorites:


1. "My valentine died on the cross for my sins..."
Let's think about this... I don't think Jesus is really your valentine. He doesn't show up at your door with chocolates and a balloon or sing you cheesy love songs. I feel like if you're saying that, although well intentioned, you may be more single (and probably lonely) than the rest of us.

2. "Jesus thinks you're beautiful..."
I could be wrong, but I feel like the second half of this sentence is "....and He's the only one." Surprisingly enough, this doesn't esteem us girls as much as you may think.


All this to say... we know we're single. But even for those of us that don't mind it, we don't need the constant reminder. It's really isn't that helpful. Call it Valentine's Day or call it Singles Awareness Day but it's definitely an awkward day for many people. I've just come to embrace that fact.